HOME: All I Had To Do Was Open My Eyes...

There is this concept of home that seems to ever circle the internet of people traveling to places that have yet to be molded by the hands of man with some ridiculous views, lush jungles, 100 foot cascading waterfalls, immense mountains, interwoven redwood trees covered with fog scattered along the coast. I, too, on my travels have been to places that just feel.... right. The earth feels as though it is breathing underneath my feet and I breath with it, as the waves crash on the shore or the trees exhale life back into my lungs. Finding the overwhelming sense of home within the Pacific North West forests of Oregon and California, or amongst the jungles of Kauai, as I was overcome by the feelings of empowerment, connection and awareness . With the views they have, how could they not? Additionally, each are inhabited by locals who have a strong sense of self and tend not to project their insecurities onto you. Who gaze into your eyes to weave a neuropathic connection akin to those formed by the trees in the forests they find daily refuge in. All these places brought a slew of feelings, sights, sounds and smells that reminded me of my first and most cherished mother, Zimbabwe.

However, very few of us live in places like this, but are we to feel unsatisfied or detached from ourselves because of it? I don’t believe so, or at least, I surely don’t hope so. Coming back from my most mind boggling trip to Kauai, I felt insanely drained and disconnected upon returning to the matrix ;). Knowing I was here, in Texas, for a reason gave me consolation, reminded me that my gifts are better used shared out here in the world that is greatly in need of more love, face to face, on the regular, love. Once I accepted this reality I found myself asking the question “how do I find refuge and the opportunity to recharge in Mother Nature if I feel as though I am in a giant cement box?”. Sure enough my question was shortly answered. What I had longed for for so long was in front of me all along. 

" i forgot my home was this planet, not a city/state/country. just as i had had previosly forgotten my souls home was in this body the way it was meant to be."

" i forgot my home was this planet, not a city/state/country. just as i had had previosly forgotten my souls home was in this body the way it was meant to be."

I found myself exploring southern American river habitats. Watching the king of the river hunt silently all day for minnows who unknowingly outed themselves to their predators as their scales flickered in the light to attract bugs as their prey. Walking carefully through the rocks and boulders sobered by the sight of the shed skin of a river snake. Resting peacefully under shady trees with cool water flowing by, making me forget the 100F (38C) summer heat. 

"resting on the giant rock that paves the way for this body of water as it caves through the ancient stone. the waters constant flow a reminder to renew and let go the white rock etched with ancient markings a reminder to listen"

"resting on the giant rock that paves the way for this body of water as it caves through the ancient stone. the waters constant flow a reminder to renew and let go the white rock etched with ancient markings a reminder to listen"

I am humbled by my own folly, and overflowing with gratitude with how abundant the renewing energy of momma gaia is- her presence speaking volumes no matter how plentiful the modern distracts and concrete. All I had to do was open my eyes. 

Prioritizing Positivity Not Perfection

“If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation.”  - Jiddu Krishnamurti

Upon finding an article where Mila Kunis stated that it's 'bizarre how everyone has the same facial features now', I related to her sentiments in a sad way. The truth is there always have been certain trends within the make-up/beauty world. But when I look around the world at the moment, it seems to be less about enhancing your own already beautiful features, but about instead changing them entirely. It's dismal seeing an army of people unaccepting of their own beauty and favouring to alter their features.

As a young woman, who wants to live a free and fulfilling life to the best of my abilities, I've begun to navigate what are the necessities to my happiness. Our exterior bodies are beautiful creations, but it’s our words and actions that can touch peoples lives. We should prioritize what we do, and not how we look. What feeds the soul is love, friendships, passion, peace and following your dreams. I do realise that make-up and hair are incredible art forms and there are many artists I admire in those areas. Although indulging in enhancing our best features through make-up and being creative is an important part of a lot of peoples lives, we should be making sure we don’t place too much worth on this.

A recent movement by Jameela Jamil, 'I Weigh' shone a light on how there are so many more important things than our looks; personal growth, recovery progress, friends, family and just having fun and adventuring. The instagram page was born out of a concern for the issues around self esteem problems. Combating a culture that would rather see women worry about their weight rather than flourishing in their talents.

“Every minute we spend thinking about how thin and gorgeous and perfect we aren’t, is a moment that we aren’t thinking about growing our business or our education, or our family or the fun in our lives.”

I once did focus and put a lot of pressure on the way I looked when I was younger. This lead to me edging away from my true self, trying to look like who I thought was beautiful, rather than realising I was beautiful. Instead of having a healthy, loving, accepting view of myself, it was an unhappy egotistical energy that held me back.

In our superficial society we are often told that our likeability is determined by our looks. This leads to self esteem issues and a never ending cycle of trying to reach an unrealistic goal among many young people. I’ve found I’ve almost had to unlearn the lies that have filtered through modern media and into my brain. I understand photo-shopping, light, make-up and how much work and effort can go into making people look a certain way for just one photo. Therefore now I can fairly judge myself and others, and not make unfair comparisons to the fake beauty standards of Victoria's Secret and celeb selfies.

Being comfortable in your own skin may be a slow process but it’s so rewarding. It may be a bit of a battle but you have to remember there's a lot of money in the business of making you feel bad about your body. You've got to fight the urge to judge yourself too harshly. When you begin to realise the world doesn’t fall apart when it sees you in your natural form, you’ll have more clarity and confidence within yourself. Maybe you'll even feel a better connection with the world, as nothing in nature apologises for the way it looks, it just lives.

If you focus inwards, you can see where your true self thrives. When you're truly happy in your skin, you won't need to hide it or change it. The more we connect with our souls and less with our eyes, the more we can make genuine connections with people and grow within ourselves. Rather than when we put all our energy into our exterior looks, consuming and worrying about things that make us look like the current version of attractiveness. We're focusing on something other than what serves our soul, our dreams, ambitions or the people around us.

I am in no way saying make up is a negative thing in itself, wear as little or as much as you prefer to. It's a fabulous art form, and you can create all sort of funky looks. Just don't use it to hide yourself. Don't fall into the trap of the cult of perfection. Focusing so harshly on your exterior is a waste of your time. Time that could’ve been used on enjoying your life and feeding your soul with magical experiences.


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