WE ARE ONE. // quitting modelling + moving to hawaii


My Dearest Friend,

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I first was intrigued with modeling because I wanted to be around a bunch of artists coming together to produce one bigger piece of art. That’s beautiful. But NYC was just not the place for me. I felt so disconnected from my true being and I’ve learned from the past that listening to myself produces the best outcomes. So I got rid of almost all of my things, took the money I made from the month of modeling, and said goodbye to my mom and sisters who were also on the east coast at the time. 

I’m in kauai now. 

On October 17th I landed in kauai with a travelers back pack and no plan besides an air b and b that I booked for a week. I am too young to rent a car so I spent a while hitch hiking my way to different parts of the island in search of a job and on my first day I found one. It wasn’t until shortly after that I found another job; and now maybe even another. I was able to rent a car from a local and find a place to live for at least three months. 

Of course there were hardships. are hardships. My car broke down for the fourth time today. I have had to walk in the dark, work for 8 hours without a break, ask strangers for help, drive during a storm, walk on a highway for three miles during a storm, and drive in the dark without street lights. I have cried multiple times but life is beautiful. 

I have run barefoot in the forest. embraced my inner child. absorbed my true calling. appreciated connection. humanity. the mother source. nature has healed me. is healing me. I will climb with my laughter. swim with my tears. dance with the wind. towards everything and nothing.

I’m writing this so that you will listen to your inner whisper. Your path may be questionable. scary. ambiguous. but no one knows yourself more than you. Trust the journey. meditate. relax. Listen to the intuition of the now. Be in the moment. breathe. Life will send you happiness. Success will produce itself in the form of personal growth and you will flourish. 

What is your biggest dream? Do you dare to run amongst the universe and howl at the full moon? Do you embrace change and stare fear in the face? Do you listen to your inner being as a binding force of reason? Do you follow your heart towards your true intention? 

We are one in the same. cultivated by the same mother. earth beneath our feet. garden of growth. I love you for you are me. I see you for we are one. 

The world is my classroom. 

This is my home.

Thank you,

An untethered soul 

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Howl


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In the dead winter night, 

A howl echos through the trees

It peaks your ears

It ruffles your heart 

It stirs your soul

An itch slithers up your body 

Imploring you to run

To unleash your inner wild

To fully embody your true nature

Because when you allow complete acceptance

Your hackles raise

Your tail flicks

And your howl echoes back  

Hidden


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I awoke in a nest, deep in the forest. High above in the sky. It's branches were strong, the nest made of moss, feathers and twigs.

He hid me, so that no eye lay upon me.

He hid me, so that he could have the delight of knowing me first.

Under the shadow of His wings. The air smelled of rain and lavender. Their were birds all around, deep reds and soft blue. Singing songs only the forest knew. 

When the time was right I heard him whisper my name. When i was ready he told me to fly.

THE ECHO


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The universe called her name at night.

Silent whispers barely to be heard.

Emerging to a humming lullaby

of words that had been unheard.

Singing promises about the infinity.

Something so unknown,

yet familiar.

 

A place for lucid daydreams,

softly flowing by compassion and light.

A place for endless guidance of love,

where the walls of fear and doubt crumble down

and dissolve to a withering echo.

 

This place,

it is within you.

Just listen and surrender to it.

As living beneath the stars

is really all there is needed.

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Oneness


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Above dreamy clouds
and with watery eyes,
my heart longed to be grounded
by your life pouring existence.

When I opened my eyes, 
I was immersed in your immensity, 
gazing at the never ending horizon, 
where the ocean meets the sky, 
and the universe collapses into oneness.

Tears poured and rolled down my cheeks,
as you held me tight.
My heart was happy,
My soul was warm.
I was home.

@carinafirkowski

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