Prioritizing Positivity Not Perfection


“If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation.”  - Jiddu Krishnamurti

Upon finding an article where Mila Kunis stated that it's 'bizarre how everyone has the same facial features now', I related to her sentiments in a sad way. The truth is there always have been certain trends within the make-up/beauty world. But when I look around the world at the moment, it seems to be less about enhancing your own already beautiful features, but about instead changing them entirely. It's dismal seeing an army of people unaccepting of their own beauty and favouring to alter their features.

As a young woman, who wants to live a free and fulfilling life to the best of my abilities, I've begun to navigate what are the necessities to my happiness. Our exterior bodies are beautiful creations, but it’s our words and actions that can touch peoples lives. We should prioritize what we do, and not how we look. What feeds the soul is love, friendships, passion, peace and following your dreams. I do realise that make-up and hair are incredible art forms and there are many artists I admire in those areas. Although indulging in enhancing our best features through make-up and being creative is an important part of a lot of peoples lives, we should be making sure we don’t place too much worth on this.

A recent movement by Jameela Jamil, 'I Weigh' shone a light on how there are so many more important things than our looks; personal growth, recovery progress, friends, family and just having fun and adventuring. The instagram page was born out of a concern for the issues around self esteem problems. Combating a culture that would rather see women worry about their weight rather than flourishing in their talents.

“Every minute we spend thinking about how thin and gorgeous and perfect we aren’t, is a moment that we aren’t thinking about growing our business or our education, or our family or the fun in our lives.”

I once did focus and put a lot of pressure on the way I looked when I was younger. This lead to me edging away from my true self, trying to look like who I thought was beautiful, rather than realising I was beautiful. Instead of having a healthy, loving, accepting view of myself, it was an unhappy egotistical energy that held me back.

In our superficial society we are often told that our likeability is determined by our looks. This leads to self esteem issues and a never ending cycle of trying to reach an unrealistic goal among many young people. I’ve found I’ve almost had to unlearn the lies that have filtered through modern media and into my brain. I understand photo-shopping, light, make-up and how much work and effort can go into making people look a certain way for just one photo. Therefore now I can fairly judge myself and others, and not make unfair comparisons to the fake beauty standards of Victoria's Secret and celeb selfies.

Being comfortable in your own skin may be a slow process but it’s so rewarding. It may be a bit of a battle but you have to remember there's a lot of money in the business of making you feel bad about your body. You've got to fight the urge to judge yourself too harshly. When you begin to realise the world doesn’t fall apart when it sees you in your natural form, you’ll have more clarity and confidence within yourself. Maybe you'll even feel a better connection with the world, as nothing in nature apologises for the way it looks, it just lives.

If you focus inwards, you can see where your true self thrives. When you're truly happy in your skin, you won't need to hide it or change it. The more we connect with our souls and less with our eyes, the more we can make genuine connections with people and grow within ourselves. Rather than when we put all our energy into our exterior looks, consuming and worrying about things that make us look like the current version of attractiveness. We're focusing on something other than what serves our soul, our dreams, ambitions or the people around us.

I am in no way saying make up is a negative thing in itself, wear as little or as much as you prefer to. It's a fabulous art form, and you can create all sort of funky looks. Just don't use it to hide yourself. Don't fall into the trap of the cult of perfection. Focusing so harshly on your exterior is a waste of your time. Time that could’ve been used on enjoying your life and feeding your soul with magical experiences.

 

More in Self-Love:

How I Make The Present Moment Home


Screen Shot 2018-02-18 at 15.00.24.png

The first time I ever really thought about the idea of “living in the moment” was when I stumbled across the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I feel like I heard people say this all the time, and maybe I even said it all the time without ever stopping to think about what it truly meant. This book was in such great and beautiful detail that I truly started to take in the words. I was moved. I started to think about why I would really want to live any other way. Of course I am human, and will have moments where I slip up. That is perfectly okay, and I believe that it's important to forgive myself and accept those moments. When I start to really feel what it's like to live in the here and now it transforms my point of view on life.

 

Living in the moment strips away worry. When I discovered that the only thing that truly exists is this moment I stopped stressing about the future, because I realized the future doesn't even exist yet. Why worry about something that is non existent? I do believe there is power in planning for the future, having goals and dreams and working toward reaching them. Now I realize that I can be content with the present while also working toward my dreams. Along with eliminating stress about the future, living in the moment also removed any depression I may have felt about the past. I was able to finally let go of pain and suffering that I was holding onto so tightly without even knowing it. I let go of things that I was clinging to and things I had buried for so long. None of that mattered when I felt like I was being present.

 

I have my own routines that help me return to that inner stillness, and what helps you may be different. But I wanted to share my experiences with you in hopes that someone can possibly relate.

 

1. Meditate – So I absolutely understand that sometimes meditating is hard and intimidating at first because we are trained to have our brains constantly going, all day every day. For me what helped was learning how to do it a little at a time. I remember only being able to make it 2 minutes before I had to stop. Now I have some days where I am able to make it 30 to 40 minutes. And still some days where I can only make it 2! Each day is different, but so worth reaching that place of being.

 

2. Yoga – For me yoga was much like meditating, I didn't really understand it and I could only make it a few minutes at a time before I would stop. Now I stretch out in a class full of people for over an hour! Nothing happens over night. The breathing and poses I learn to hold in yoga focus my brain to the present moment and it calms my mind, allowing me to relax and just be. It's also amazing for our health! It increases our blood flow, drops blood pressure, maintains our nervous system, and is literally scientifically proven to make us happier! It was worth it for me to give it a try and truly feel the difference after class.

 

3. Writing – So this is specific to me, not everyone's main passion is writing. Some people place their passion in painting, singing, dancing, the list goes on and on. It is beautiful how many different kinds of art humans can create. I urge you to find whatever artistic outlet you need personally and open your heart up to it. I found ways to let so much negativity go through writing. Sometimes my pen hits the paper and it's like my soul is being spilled out through the letters, and you guys understand it! What a beautiful way to let out your worries.

 

4. Spend quality time with people who matter to me – I still have moments where I feel like retreating and shutting people out on days where my spirit feels drained. It feels like human connection isn't even attainable when I am feeling this way. I am learning now that when I feel that way, it is just another moment I am experiencing. I know that I will eventually come into another moment where I want to be surrounded by all my wonderful family and friends. When I experience the company of those that are close to my heart I feel content. I don't want the moment to end and I am taking in each part of it. Each instant is held onto and I feel present. I am learning appreciation for all the beautiful souls I get to share this life time with.

 

There are so many different ways we can get back to that inner stillness. After we practice this we become more of the person that we are meant to be. I encourage you to soul search until you reach what you need personally to reach this state of contentment. I promise it's worth it.

 

Thank you. I love and appreciate each and every one of you.

 

Kindra Rae

@Kindrainwonderland

More in Spirituality:

Source: http://kindrarae.com

the whisper


The whisper

In the stillness of my soul

I find you

You are there

Quietly whispering to my heart

Unfolding the mysteries of life

 

There´s not one thing you don´t know

Not one thing you don´t understand

Everything I desire lies in the depth of your spirit

Revealed through the guidance of your voice

All I need to is listen

 

That´s the art

Focusing on the things hidden

For us to be found

Things that seem unimportant

but contain the secret of life

You´ll only discover

when you take your eyes of the storm

And ganze into His

 

More Poetry:

Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bd35zgAHpCQ/?taken-by=tearstopraise