voices


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Uniqueness given but too insecure to discover it.

You are inferior, they said. Alone. Not enough.

My tries to adjust failed bitterly, my opinions tossed by winds and waves.

The illusion of earning my affection through meeting others expectations crushed me.

The voices became louder.

Pulling back from my outer world, trying to create a perfect one in my mind, didn't work.

All I felt was a crazy mess in my inside, growing bigger while my attempts to fight my way out of it failed.

All of it changed with a small whisper.

And as soon as I started listening, it became louder.

Louder than all the other voices. Louder than my own insecurities. With a mighty roar it silenced my storm.

One word and it was done.

Then gently and loving, it began to tell me who I really was, who I really am.

Loved.

Accepted.

Beautiful.

Art.

Uniquely created to represent the One who created me.

My thoughts began to untangle, my heart to heal. Slowly discovering the world inside of me through the eyes of the Artist.

My true self is what I found.

My true self is what I find.

The start of a lifelong journey.

I fell in love with it.

He has started and we will continue.

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I AM MORE - YOU ARE NOT THIS BODY


MY Body is my Home. But I AM NOT THIS BODY. 

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I am not this body. 

I am so much more. 

And so.. Are You! 

 

When I was in Corsica, I took some major steps towards all of the realizations I am going to talk about now. 

I realised.. I am not this body. 

My, and your, body is the home of a soul. 

It is the vehicle for you to wander through  this life. 

It is the magical tool to let your soul experience smells, sounds, colours, touches etc.. 

But you are not your body. 

I say it again.. YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE.

 

It is nearly sad how it took me 20 years to start honestly freeing myself from the thinking that I am this skin. 

That my face is me. That all that matters and that  I have got on this planet are these forms and physicalities. 

Wow.. and then I realized how wrong I was. 

My body is the temple of my soul. And so are yours. 

Inside this magically functioning cave of small particles, wich  perfectly found together, sits this endless and glowing soul which cant be defined by labels. 

 

Our focus is so manipulated by too many things. Our brain is so twisted and focused on the things we can see but… Do you really only want to be this body, when you can be so much more? 

Do I want to be only this body ? 

 

When I  started realizing that ME is not what I can see in the mirror. That my worth has nothing to do with my weight. That my beauty is not measurable by societies standarts. 

I am the light inside my soul, the small sparkles the universe gave to me. 

My worth is not countable, because it is unquestionable. 

I am beautiful, because I decide to be. 

And then…. The second you realize.. pressure drops from your shoulders and your prison not longer holds you back. 

 

For way too long I suppressed my inner light. I was so caught up in „serving" only this physical image and only pushing more and more and more to somehow maintain what I thought defined my worth. 

I caged this beautiful little girl inside myself in a dark place. There was no space for weakness. 

There was no space for diversity. 

There was no energy for creativity. 

There was no room to test who I want to be. I did so much harm on my soul. I didn’t realize how my eyes weren't shining and all this LOVE I carry in my heart couldn't find its way in this world, because I was too obsessed curving and shaping my body into these unrealistic shapes and states. 

I nearly sacrificed my health. (to be specific I completely messed up my digestive system and I lost my period for over two years)

I knew something was wrong. I knew this wasn't right and this wasn't sustainable. But I was too scared to chose my health, to chose healing and giving my body what it needed.

Why? Because I really believed that this body is me. I truly believed in what society tells us day by day. 

That all we have to offer to this world is only this little of a body. I lost (and lose) myself in what society tells us everyday, I get caught up in glittering worlds of social media. But all of that is not real. It is not real. I was wrong.  

Ooh GIRL. I was wrong.. 

Now when I started to chose…..

to read the full blogpost please head over to my own little loved Blog

https://www.paulinelapetite.com/single-post/2017/05/21/I-am-MORE 

become part of this journey and get more information about yoga, my travels, my story, writing, poetry and more. 

all the love xx

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LETTER TO MYSELF


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Foreword:

This letter is an insight into my personal journey of forgiving myself and learning to truly love the soul that is living inside my human suit. I am sharing this with you to inspire you, write a letter to yourself and forgive the most important person in your life - you.

A special friend told me some month ago when I was spilling my heart to him that I have to forgive myself. I need to forgive every person, but especially myself to truly find love and acceptance. 

I never doubted his words but it took me some more months to actually be able to forgive myself. 

But some days ago, I wrote this letter to myself. Sitting in the forest all by myself feeling so blessed and calm. 

I could say I forgive you and I love you to myself for the first time in my life, meaning it, and it was one of the most beautiful and releasing moments ever. I am incredibly blessed by a really special group of friends and an amazing family who pushes and guides me, I hope to be your friend and your family by sharing.

This letter is extremely personal and I know I make myself incredibly vulnerable sharing this. But my experience on this blog with all of you has been so deeply loving and caring that I have no fear and I really hope and want to help anyone out there to forgive themselves and make themselves free from all the pain and punishment. 

You have the birthright to be happy. 

You have the birthright to be free. 




Letter to myself : 

Dear you, 

Dear beautiful young woman, lost little girl and loved creature of this planet. 

I just wanted you to know... 

I forgive you and I love you. 

I forgive you for suppressing your true light for many years. 

I forgive you for being so filled and blinded by fear and doubts that you were never able to see your true beauty.

I forgive you for losing yourself in the external world and hurting yourself over and over and over again, by running after shallow sources of validation because you were too trapped to see this divine woman in yourself. 

I forgive you for hating your looks. 

I forgive you for all the harsh words you were saying to yourself.

I forgive you for all the punishments you were giving yourself. 

I forgive you for suppressing your feminine energy, for working against your true inner self and for pretending you were somebody you were not. 

I forgive you for pushing away people you love because of your numbness fed by fear. 

I forgive you for caging yourself away from love because fear was eating you up from the inside and you couldn’t let go of control. 

I forgive you, my girl. 

I forgive you for everything. 

Thank you. 

I LOVE YOU 

I love you for…..

to read the full blogpost please head over to my own little loved blog

 https://www.paulinelapetite.com/single-post/2017/06/07/LETTER-TO-MYSELF

become part of this journey and get more information about yoga, my travels, my story, writing, poetry and more. 

all the love xx

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